Italian
Facing a dire diagnosis requires strength and clarity. Learning to live in the present can help transform fear into awareness and find serenity in uncertainty
When the suspicion of an ominous diagnosis arises, that is precisely when we should take the opportunity to stay anchored in the present. In fact, fear (although humanly understandable) comes from the fact that we are living in a future that does not yet exist.
We live on assumptions. For all we know, at the moment we are fine. Let’s live this well-being. When we have the diagnosis, we will think about it. I know it seems difficult, but like all things, when they are done and known, they become easy.
Because, if the alarm goes off, we have lived those days very badly for nothing. And if it doesn’t go off, at least we have lived a few more days well.
When there is a diagnosis, we also go out of time, into a future that does not yet exist. We are not used to living moment by moment. We are “time travelers”: either anchored to a past that no longer exists, except in memories, or to a future that does not yet exist, and in doing so, we miss the present, life. Once lost, no one gives it back to us.
Therefore, it is essential to live in the present, with projects, memories, and experiences that guide us on how to move forward.
When there is a diagnosis, one must not fall into the trap of “why me?”. We must not fall into victimhood: it’s true that the blow that has arrived is a hard one, but to face it head-on, the worst choice is to become a victim, to close off, to isolate oneself. But also to play the fake hero who fights. There’s nothing to fight, there’s to know. To understand. I know that the first thing one wants to know is why it happened. But, even if one asks this question, they realize they don’t have the answer.
Obviously I am speaking from a psychological point of view. So why keep asking yourself the same question for which there is no answer, and maybe try changing the question instead? The fact that perhaps at the moment another question may not come to mind, does not authorize or justify continuing to bother oneself by endlessly repeating the same thing.
Tumor cells resemble embryonic cells, the difference being that the latter are meant to develop into a fetus, while the former are an end in themselves. Could this mean something symbolically? A desire for rebirth? In the sense that perhaps it is time to evolve internally? Of course, this is a provocation, but as such, it might not be underestimated. Why not change perspective, point of view? It doesn’t hurt.”
Elena Santomartino – Psychologist
