Italian
Dr. Francesca Fregno, psychologist and psychotherapist, provides an in-depth analysis of psychological violence in relationships. Drawing from her extensive experience, she explores definitions, the devastating impacts on victims’ mental health, and offers concrete examples of typical behaviors.
MILAN. In this article, Dr. Francesca Fregno, psychologist and psychotherapist based in Milan and active online throughout Italy, shares her extensive experience in dealing with emotional dependence and dysfunctional relationships.
Doctor Francesca Fregno has been dealing with emotional dependence and dysfunctional relationships with individuals and couples for many years. She collaborates with television broadcasters, magazines, and is the author of the book “Anatomy of Relationships”.
How did you develop a specific interest in psychological violence and its impacts on women?
In my clinical practice, I always observe women with low self-esteem hungry for unhealthy love relationships, all types of violence have disabling effects on mental and physical health in the short and long term, it is important to increase the level of awareness.
My goal is to promote a culture of prevention, identify early signs of behaviors that may hide violence, and find strategies to address it.
How would you define psychological violence and what are its distinctive aspects?
Psychological violence is insidious, often hidden behind sarcasm or subtle behaviors, making it difficult for the victim to recognize such dynamics. Psychological aggression involves the use of verbal and non-verbal communication with the intent to harm a partner mentally or emotionally and to exert control.
It is a form of mistreatment, a real emotional abuse, there is a tendency to belittle devalue criticize destabilize the person through emotional neglect isolating obsessive unjustified jealousy up to stalking.
How can psychological violence affect the mental health and emotional well-being of victims?
Victims feel powerless, not believed, all of this can lead to developing a psychological trauma, anxiety, depression, shame, powerlessness, low self-esteem, self-blame.
All this makes it difficult to ask for help, the increasing erosion of one’s self-esteem prevents the victim from breaking free from the cycle of abuse. They tend to isolate themselves and do not have a healthy emotional support from friends or family, downplay abusive behaviors, and struggle to question the relationship.
Emotional abuse can cause long-term psychological issues, affecting one’s ability to regulate their emotions in the future and to develop healthy relationships with others.
The victim then tends to activate defense mechanisms, such as rationalization to justify the partner or removal and denial of what happened, downplaying the seriousness. All this leads to not coming into contact with the event objectively.
What are the common dynamics associated with psychological violence in relationships?
One enters into a dynamic of cognitive dissonance with antithetical thoughts in contrast with each other where there is a lack of awareness and refusal to recognize the abusive relationship.
Dysfunctional beliefs emerge, with many women convinced that through their unconditional love, their partner can change, creating a relationship of emotional dependence by seeking approval and validation.
Emotional manipulation aims to control and influence emotions, while those who act violently seek to have control over the other person, their time, social networks, and movements.
Can you share some examples of typical behaviors that constitute psychological violence?
Criticism, threats, denigration, self devaluation through sarcasm and ridicule even in public, the victim comes to believe they are worthless, being treated as an object.
It is common for the abuser to deny the abuse, often accusing the other person of being crazy, overly sensitive, or too dramatic. Every time the victim tries to speak up, they will be accused of provoking the abuse, being in the wrong, lacking a sense of humor, etc.
Even economic abuse falls within a form of violence because it renders the victim completely devoid of any autonomy.
How can women recognize and understand if they are victims of psychological violence?
Violence can take many forms that are not always visible. A healthy relationship adds value to your existence. The effects of mental abuse are just as harmful as the effects of physical abuse.
The aggressor never takes responsibility for the consequences of their actions or words, they are very jealous and leverage guilt to force the other person to do what they want. Any form of control is an abuse along with emotional neglect.
How can therapy support women in overcoming the traumas related to this form of violence?
Psychological support involves recognizing that one is being abused, creating a safety plan, and leaving. It works on the feeling of guilt that the victim usually experiences; psychological abuse can leave deep emotional scars that may take a long time to process.
What are effective methods to prevent psychological violence in relationships?
Surely talking to a therapist can help us understand if our relationship is dysfunctional.
It is very important not to isolate ourselves but to talk to our family and friends, if we are feeling unwell we feel drained of energy, violent partners manipulate reality.
How can awareness of the dynamics of psychological violence help women protect themselves?
We need to work on our self-esteem, re-establish boundaries, create a support network, learn to love ourselves, acquire psychological defense strategies, and process all negative emotions.
